"But Change is Hard!"

It is an exhilarating feeling to walk out of a counseling session armed with fresh perspectives and a toolkit of new strategies for your life and relationships. The frustration arises when it comes time to actually implement those changes; suddenly, the new behaviors feel forced, unnatural, or even "fake."

Whether it is practicing a structured "time-out" during a heated argument, using deep breathing to ground yourself during a crisis, or journaling to uncover subconscious patterns, these concepts often sound wonderful in a clinical setting but feel incredibly clunky in practice. While many people remark that these strategies "look good on paper," the reality is that they are significantly harder to execute in real life. However, we must ask ourselves: if we refuse to change our actions, can we honestly expect our circumstances to improve? As the old adage goes, repeating the same behaviors while expecting a different outcome is the very definition of insanity.

The renowned neurologist Viktor E. Frankl famously observed that when we lose the ability to change a specific situation, our true challenge is to change ourselves. This is a vital realization because you ultimately lack the power to transform your partner, your children, your employer, or your parents; the only person you truly control is yourself.

Fortunately, science offers us the concept of neuroplasticity—the brain's remarkable ability to "rewire" itself. Rather than being stuck with a fixed temperament, your brain functions like a muscle that can be reshaped through consistent practice and repetition. By intentionally choosing a new way to think or respond, you are physically molding your brain until that new behavior becomes your default setting. Even if it feels artificial in the beginning, pushing through that awkwardness builds significant self-esteem and provides tangible proof that you are worth the investment of growth.

Ultimately, the gap between having insight in a counselor’s office and applying it in the real world is bridged only by consistent action. If you encounter resistance to change, don't just passively agree during your session; vocalize your struggles so you can both address them head-on and uncover what’s truly holding you back.